I don't really have much to say, everything has been pretty boring lately i guess. I've been so unmotivated lately to do anything from work to school work. blahhhhh. I had one huge paper due today that's 40% of my semester grade, and it was complete shit and I know it. THEN, I have two more big papers due on Thursday as well. I can't fucking wait until this semester is over. I feel so guilty because I haven't visited my grandfather since like the day before thanksgiving. I just haven't really had time, so i need to go tomorrow. . .

I wish I didn't have to wait until next year to get out of here. I know that I constantly reiterate this, but I'm so bored with everything. The only thing that's stopping me from applying to Emerson for next year is the $65 deposit . . . I just need to fucking do it already, even though I doubt that I'll actually get in. I don't know what I'm going to do if I'm stuck here for another year. I don't know why i made the decision to stay here in the first place, or why i applied to schools that I would never go to.

I need to find a good book to read. Preferably something depressing, perhaps on the same par as "the virgin suicides." I've forgotten how much I liked that book; maybe I'll read it again.

I'm boring . . . bL@hHhH